#292 – Pillars Of Self-Esteem With Dame Clarissa Burt

One of the first things that people judge you by and I think that we judge ourselves by is the way we look. Uh don’t shoot the messenger. They’re all you can look at. There are all kinds of studies around this. And so I’m not saying you need to walk out looking like a supermodel every day. But I am saying that you do need to be um taking good care and cure of the way that you look. Take the example of uh someone that is feeling badly about themselves because they’re overweight. I’m taking that as an example. They’ve made shows about this, you know, the biggest loser, whatever the shows are about losing weight and being healthy and you know, people look good and the first thing that they do is they go out and they buy new outfits or maybe they get a new haircut or color or they just judge themselves up a little bit. That just is that it does. I don’t care what people, it works on your psyche, it works on how you believe uh uh about yourself. It just does, it’s a self, it’s another very big self esteem factor.

The Tore podcast is owned and made possible by ethical marketing service. If your business is struggling with Google or Facebook ads, maybe you’re frustrated figuring it out or there’s a performance issue. Ethical marketing service has worked on hundreds of accounts and we can help in this area. We offer a 30 day money back guarantee if you would like to find out if we can help. It’s a free no salesy consultation call and the link is in the description, enjoy the episode. Thomas Green here with ethical marketing service on the episode. Today we have Clarissa Burt Clarissa. Welcome. Well, welcome to you too. Thank you so much for this. This is so exciting. I can’t wait to tell you everything that I uh I’m very passionate about when it comes to self esteem. Thank you. Would you like to start uh with a little bit about yourself and what you do? Yeah, absolutely. Well, I have a, a multimedia platform in the limelight media which consists of television, podcast and a digital magazine. So we are, we cater to solo Preneurs and entrepreneurs that really want to get the word out and don’t have huge budgets.

They’re not corporations. So uh we find that entrepreneurs usually are so darn busy uh that, you know, one of the last things they’re thinking about is really their promotion um and publicity. So I, I step in and help them with that, take that burden off and um that’s where we, that’s where we are. So uh but um yeah, a little bit more about me, I just, you know, became really passionate about, about the stage. Many years ago, I was Mary Poppins in the kindergarten play. So when I got um my first standing ovation after I sang Super Cal Roll Xo, I was hooked, Thomas, I was hooked. And so from there on, I knew that in some way, shape or form my life was going to, you know, was going to be near or very close to a microphone on the stage. And uh and, and that’s exactly what happened. So the modeling years were modeling and then we moved into movies. Um Some may remember the never any story part two where I played the part of the mean queen and Zaida. And then we uh I moved into television as on camera talent in Italy where I was living.

So not only was I on live T VA lot, but I was doing it in another language which was interesting. And um and then I moved into my own production company. So that’s kind of the trajectory if you will all the while being very mindful about living true to my value system and being very careful about where I was on the self esteem scale because life is life and it’s gonna kick you in the teeth sometimes. And um and I found out that the, the subject of self esteem goes rather broad and, and rather w and rather deep. Um, and as it pertains to people in business and, and their personal lives, it’s something that really is, it’s our sacred duty to be the best people we possibly can be. Thank you for the introduction. Um I, it is one of my uh favorite topics, self esteem. So I really do want to get into that before we do. I feel like I should highlight something because you’ve got a um a dame in front of your name now.

And um firstly, I don’t really know how you go about getting that. So that would be the first question um which you’d like to elaborate. Absolutely. So, so the sovereign and royal order of Cappadocia, Constantine the great and Saint Helen has been around since Byzantine Times. And you know, there are many royal orders and branches thereof over the millennia. I think we go back into history. We can, we can certainly verify that um the prince uh Veliz is Rafael Viz is still over uh in uh Fra in uh Spain and he does run this royal order, it comes through his bloodline. Um and they do give out um knighthood to civilians. Um and I was honored with a knighthood uh last year in June in Las Vegas. So they flew over and they knighted 24 of us uh for different reasons. I think that mostly mostly for me, you know what?

I didn’t know at the time. Also, Thomas is that Saint Helen was Constantine, the great’s mother and Saint Helen is the patron saint saint of mothers as well. So, um, it was, they, they’re, they’re, they’re, they’re, they fall under the realm, you know, the Catholic realm under the Vatican. And they also help people all over the world. And that’s where, you know, they had me at. Hello. When, when I found out what it was really all about. It’s not about the title, it’s about what we’re doing with it. And so that’s kind of how that happened. I was nominated, my nomination passed and um and so there you have it. Uh Yeah, it was, it was an extraordinary um honor and I take it very seriously were you told explicitly why, um why you got the, the, the title or the award? It’s because of the social work that I have done. I also had two private audiences with folk Sean Paul along the way and it was for the social work that I had done, you know, I’ve never been married and I don’t have Children. And when I was living in Italy for those 30 years on the weekends, mostly as I was working and being, you know, I was also had my own production company and what else.

But I was working on television and had my own production company. But the weekends were rather long, you know, when you and sometimes, and so I gave my time to the various charities, um, around the country. Um, you know, a lot of times they’ll have events and, uh, the organizations will give, um, charity balls or whatever it was. Even the smallest of events. Uh, and they’d call me and ask me if I would, if I would be present, would I come to, you know, to give that celebrity, I guess, factor to their event? The answer was always, yes, I never got a dime for it. I never wanted to be paid for it. In fact, I would ask them, please don’t give me the plaque and the flowers. So just keep, keep the money for, for the cause. But I always got the plaque and the flowers and um and so uh yeah, I guess the word got out that, you know, if you needed somebody for, for, you know, for charities and to, to bring awareness to your cause that Clarissa would always say yes. And, and that’s my way of giving back when we talk about when it, when I bring it back to self esteem and the four pillars of self esteem that I, I greatly believe in that is looking look good, feel good, be good and greater good.

And so this is the part of the greater good process uh pillar that I, I tout and I spout and I walk and I talk so, yeah, well, well, well done and congratulations on all that. Um Before I, um, sort of ask more about self esteem. Uh, you got a lot going on in your, in your profile. You’re very, very busy and lots of stuff which I actually haven’t seen in other, in other profiles before. Uh, what drives that, you know, if you ask me, I’m, I don’t think I’m doing enough. So I don’t really know. I guess it’s, it’s a personality, uh, trait. It’s a personality style. It’s a lifestyle for me. Um, I’ve always been high energy. I always, um, you know, I don’t always get it right. I’ve certainly made my mistakes along the way. Uh, one of them being, you know, living in fear and not having the courage to plow through that fear, I’d be, I think much farther along had I not, you know, stopped to, uh, let’s say, smell the flowers every once in a while, which really means I needed, I needed time to process what the next steps were going to be when I knew all along what they were going to be.

Um, and so I don’t know what really drives that. I just know that I love media. I love doing what we’re doing. I love talking to people, interviewing people. I love being on the stage. I love communication. Um, I’m a talker, Thomas. So, you know, they told me that I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle when I was in. So, you know, I was always a talker and, uh, and I just love, you know, I was the one as a kid that I’d always put on the plays. You know, I was the director and I brought all the kids from the neighborhood and that you’re gonna be the mom and you’re gonna be the dad and you’re gonna say this and you’re gonna say that and I have a ball doing those sorts of things. It was just kind of, it’s just in me uh Thomas to want to um to always be active and to be again, when I, when we bring it back to self esteem, be a better person tomorrow than I am today. And so, um what am I going to do today? You know, that’s gonna make that happen. Do I have to make a phone call? I have to tell somebody I love them, you know, do I have to drink an extra glass of water like under the force of the pillars of self esteem?

Pick one? It doesn’t have to be a huge uh you know, uh but sometimes it’s just, you know, holding an elevator door open for someone allowing somebody to get in, you know, uh let them go if they’re in that big of a hurry in traffic, you know, I mean, just being more, I think if we were kinder in our ways, um this would be a much better place to live as we again, as I bring it back to self esteem, one of the most important things. I think that we can all bring to the table is our value system. And if I were to ask most people right now, give me your top four values. I think I’d hear silence because I don’t think many people think about what their value system is. I don’t think that they ask themselves what their value system is. A lot of people, I don’t even know if they, they know what values are. And so if you were to list them, right? So mine, I took um and, and listed my values and it’s what I call taking the high road, which is honesty, integrity, gratitude and honor, honesty is, you know, self explanatory.

You know, radically honest. If we could live, it can imagine a world if we would live in a world where everyone was radically honest, just imagine, try to, you can’t even fathom if everyone was radically honest. Integrity. Well, ok, who are you? And nobody else is watching. Who are you when you not have no one else to be accountable to, you know, how are you really? How are you truly, who are you when you’re untangling the Christmas lights? I guess you bring it home that way. Um Gratitude. We all know what that is. Give me the top 10 things you’re thankful for right now and people need to be able to spout that off with no hesitation because too many people are bitching. Moan and complaining about what they don’t have as opposed to being really happy for what they do have. And then the, the last one being honor and honor is something that we usually attribute with, you know, we’re talking about military and, and, um, uh, and, you know, the military and honor is something that really goes much deeper than that. That is, you know, again, who are you when nobody else is in the room, who are you, uh, who are you?

Well, uh, how do you treat people that, uh, you know, can do nothing for you? How do you treat those people? And is it, you know, I was on Survivor, I think you’re all, everyone may be familiar with the show, Survivor. I was on Celebrity Survivor in Italy in 2011 and they took us to Nicaragua and I didn’t want to go and I fought going, but that’s a longer story that II, I digress. But so we get to the island and one of the exercises is we’re out of heliport and they’re taking the whole team of us in helicopters somewhere. I can’t even remember where to do an exercise to do a game. And as we’re standing there, I have with me, there’s only the pilot and me and two other girls and these are the bikini babes on the show. They’re the two, you know, younger, beautiful love the girls. They were phenomenal. We had a great time uh, but they use their, you know, their woos if you will with the, with the, you know, they would let me say the pilot. They said, hey, listen, can you do us a favor? Can you go to the kiosk over there and just get us some eat because we’re not eating and we’re starving and we’re doing this, you know, reality show.

Of course, the guy goes over to the kiosk and he gets the, a paper bag full of whatever it was stuff. I guess it was just really couldn’t have been, it’s just snacks, you know, crackers and biscuits and, and candy. And they, he comes back with this brown paper bag and he hands it to them. They get in the back. I’m in the front at a certain point. I feel this tap on my shoulder and I turn around and they’re proffering the food, some of these, these food items to me, to which I say, 00, no, no, no, thanks. Thank you. Thanks, thanks. And of course, I, I continue to look at the vast gorgeousness, you know, up in the high, up in the air of wherever we’re flying to. And that was a, you know, it was a, it was a definitely a, a divisive moment in the sense that first of all, for me, I knew it was the right thing to do. There were rules to a game and I would have had a one up if you will on all the other people in his other helicopters that didn’t, weren’t eating just as much as I wasn’t eating. It was against the rules. It would have been the wrong thing to do. Now. It was very easy because no one would have ever known the guy wasn’t gonna tell anybody, the girls aren’t gonna tell anybody.

And what else it did was whereas we got along famously before it put that kind of division between us because I think number one, I think they were afraid I was going to tell, you know, which of course I would have never done. It’s just not who I am. And number two, I think it really put a mirror up to them. Um Not only did they probably think, oh, look at her. She thinks she’s a goody two shoes. But it kind, I think what it did for them was kind of like, well, we probably, we probably shouldn’t have done this. I mean, it made them rethink what they did. Was it a survival tactic? It might have been, we weren’t dying, we were hungry but we weren’t dying. You know, we had a handful of rice every day and we had, you know, a doctor on the island should we need. And we had, you know, the vitamin drink or some sort of thing they gave us that we was rationed. But all of this to say, where are you on your honor scale would you have taken this, I’m not here to preach and I’m certainly not perfect. Don’t get me wrong. But this is a case in my life. It’s an instant instance in my life that I bring as an example to are we really thinking about doing the honorable thing?

I think too many of us now, especially in this day and age and what’s going on around the world don’t even think about what the honorable thing is to do. Yeah. There are a lot of people who, uh, it just doesn’t occur to them and if it was brought up to them, they wouldn’t care anyway. So, um, I think, uh, talking about integrity is very worthwhile exercise. Um, you mentioned initially about, um, the, what I would consider to be kind of work life balance related because you said you could have achieved more if you’d have, um, should we say work, not, not stop to smell the roses? Um What’s your, what’s your take on work life balance? Considering all the things that you’ve done? I think sometimes, you know, sometimes it’s an 80 20 sometimes it’s a 46 sometimes it’s a 50 50 sometimes it’s 0 100 right now. I’m trying to get a new website out the door and it’s, um, I’ve been on this thing 24 7 for the last month. You’re gonna say a month. Yes, because we’re, we’re doing a little bit of a rebrand. There’s a little bit there’s more to it than just the website.

Uh, and then life got in the way. So, as we’re sitting here talking 10 years ago, I had ma, uh, 10 years ago, 10 days ago, I had major oral surgery. So I had seven extractions, two root canals and bone grafting. I still have sutures in my mouth and I’m on painkillers just to let you know that, you know, life got in the way for a week. So, whereas I had a deadline two weeks ago for this website, I am falling behind and I, you know, I’m running, I’m running a little bit behind on that. I want to get that out the door because September is national here in the United States. It’s national self-improvement month. Now, that might sound a little silly, but it is a perfect opportunity for me to reach out to all media to say, hey, listen, you know, this is the month. It’s self improvement. We need a lot of that right now. Here I am with my book. Are you interested? This is not so much as you know, here’s my book and buy it because they’re a gazillion. Thank God. There are a gazillion personal development books. Now, uh again, when I was a kid, there was, there were no computers, there was no internet and we had three bookstores here in the United States. So we had Walden Books, we had Border Books and Barnes and Noble, which is still in existence.

And there was a little teeny section in the back called Self help Self Help. And that’s where I would live. I never read, I never read a biography. I never read an autobiography. I never read a fiction book. I never read a romance, but I lived in the self help section because I knew from my childhood and my familial familial tribe, what I needed to do was to take a look at how are, where are the, what are the other ways that I might be living? What are the other things I might be learning that I’m not getting from the familial tribe. Now, this is not to bash them. This is however to say that I know I came out with PTSD from that experience and I needed to work on that so that self help section. Now, I am so happy to say uh Thomas is a billion dollar industry and it’s called the Personal Development section now in Barnes and Noble. And I’m thrilled to say my book, which I haven’t shown you yet is in Barnes and Noble. That’s that to me is a crowning moment. It’s another crowning moment because uh there are, you know, I’m starting a new show now called uh Shelf Mates, The Titans of the Personal development industry.

So I wanna interview many people that are on those shelves and get their perspective on what it, what self-improvement, the whole self-improvement, personal development realm. Is, you know, all of this to say that, you know, again, it goes, it goes back to our sacred duty of bringing the absolute best of ourselves to ourselves and to any other relationship that we will have along this journey. Uh It’s that important. So, um you know, and, and as it pertains to in business, it’s, you know, we talk a lot about um emotional intelligence, you know, because, well, not only in business but emotional intelligence, what’s triggering you like? Where are those triggers? You gotta get to work on that. Um Emotional intelligence in the imposter syndrome, you know, we’re always running around thinking we are not enough. Let me tell you something about enough. If you look at the word, the definition of enough is only as much as is required, only as much as is required.

Now, I will tell you that the word enough in this, in my, in my world is just not enough. So as opposed to I am enough, you are enough. We’re enough. Everybody is enough. I am, I am so much more than enough, so much more than enough. So again, be really careful what you’re telling your subconscious, right? Be real careful about what you’re telling your subconscious because it’s going to believe you reminds me of a quote. Uh If good enough is never enough, you will always have enough. That’s Greg Greg Plitt. Um But you uh it leads me to my next question. Which is about your four pillars. Um because you mentioned one which was um to look good. And I, I don’t think um I may be wrong. Maybe there’s some, some old sort of sales sales notions where you should look good in order to make a sale type thing. But I don’t think many people are maybe focusing on that topic in the self development uh field. So why is that a pillar? Well, look at his one.

It’s really the thing that when you look in the mirror and you leave the house that day or you know that you’re going to be having any sort of encounter, uh whether it be work or personal related. And when you walk out the door and you know that you look good, you know, you’ve got a lilt in your step. It’s like check, I’m looking good. I, you know, I’ve gotten up, I’ve taken my shower, I’ve brushed my teeth, I’ve brushed my hair, I put on and you know, a nice outfit. I think I look good and it’s, it’s, it’s your first self esteem boost. If you will, you look in the mirror and you go OK. I think I I’m I look good next. Feel good. Diet, exercise and nutrition. It all kind of go. It works hand in hand because that one body being your temple nea has an outer shell and an inner shell and the look good portion is something that doesn’t necessarily mean, you have to be in full makeup, in hair and in a ball gown. It definitely does. However mean that you need to be taking care of your personal hygiene and walking out the door in an outfit that you, you know, that you’ve, you’ve curated a bit that you look, you know, you know, that you are ready to face your day. I think it’s the first check that off the box as we walk into any case scenario, you know, we’re giving a presentation on stage.

We’re going to be at the board table that day. We’re out of a social dinner, we’re going to a gala uh you know, event, whatever that may be. You know, one of the first things that people judge you by and I think that we judge ourselves by is the way we look at, don’t shoot the messenger. They’re all you can go look at, there are all kinds of studies around this. And so I’m not saying you need to walk out looking like a supermodel every day, but I am saying that you do need to be um taking good care and cure of the way that you look. Um And that’s just, that’s just part of it. Uh As far as I, I can see and from what I’ve heard, take the example of uh someone that is feeling badly about themselves because they’re overweight. I’m taking that as an example, they’ve made shows about this, you know, the biggest loser, whatever the shows are about losing weight and being healthy and, you know, people look good and the first thing that they do is they go out and they buy new outfits or maybe they get a new haircut or color or they just judge themselves up a little bit.

That just is that it does. I don’t care what it, people, it works on your psyche, it works on how you believe uh uh about yourself. It just does. It’s a self, it’s another very huge big self esteem factor. So you would say it’s uh much more difficult to have self esteem if you don’t feel that you look good. So, I mean, you know, you can, you can, if you decide you don’t care about what you look like, I’m gonna say that, you know, there’s, then you’re that to me that means there’s a three pillar stool. You know, I think a chair is, is much more sturdy than a three pillar stool. That’s just my opinion on it. But I’m not saying that if somebody doesn’t want to get up and brush their hair and brush teeth and take a shower and get dressed, you know, nicely. I just have a feeling that that is something that makes people feel good about themselves. It’s the first check in the day that helps people understand. Um you know, that they’re going to have that Lilton step that’s going to take them to step number two. Now I need to take care of me inside.

I go and have a nice breakfast. I have a healthy breakfast. I know that I fueled myself along the way, you know, and now I’m ready for. Be good. I can go out into the world. I could be in my, I can be ready for my appointments. I could be ready for my meetings and, and whatever, you know, be good. Really is more like your relationship, your leadership, it’s more your finances. Uh And, or how are you taking care of that, those aspects of your life? Uh But yes, I do think that it’s an important aspect. I do. Thank you for that. Um We’ve covered one which is perhaps, um, well, my perception is that it’s not talked about as much. But what about, uh people’s misconceptions about uh self esteem? What would you say that the main misconceptions are, it’s narcissism. Most people think that if you have happy health, self esteem, it’s not your narcissistic and there’s nothing farther from the truth. So, narcissism is really the lack thereof. It’s a lack of happy, healthy self esteem. And so you, um, you know, have to be really, really mindful about that. One of the things that we really have to understand also is that there’s an awful lot to be said about our familiar tribe and what we’ve picked up and learned along the way.

Where are we today in other words, we’ve been formed no matter what age we are, we’ve been formed from the day we were born and the day we were born was really important too because we have, we have the familiar tribe that teaches us what, you know, they teach us for the first, let’s say, 18 years of life you probably have been, uh, dealing with and not even knowing with a lot of generational trauma as well. So along the generations, you know, all these ancestral uh shadows, um the secrets, right that have been brought out or that may not have been spoken about along the way are things that are really um are are things that we need to be addressing like what’s going on with all of that. For example, my mother was 18 years old when she got pregnant with me, Irish Catholic, 18 years to the nuns in high school, graduated in 800 girls in her graduating class. She was salutatorian. So second in class, um beautiful woman had her whole life ahead of her. Ok. She graduated in June by August. She was pregnant with me. That was a big deal. That was a generational trauma. That was something that was really hard for her because she was immediately thrust into black sheep of the family and and the shame of her father because my grandfather was also one of 16 Irish Catholic kids.

So you know, that generational piece, you know, there’s a book that I love, it’s called shake the family tree. It didn’t start with you. And so as it pertains to me, uh I was brought up to think that any attention from a man or a male was a horrible thing. I was never looked at them. I was never to talk to them. I was never to chase them. I was never to call them, you know. So in other words, they were trying to shelter me from having the same thing happen to me. And so that is a generational thing. It’s a generational trauma, right? Um So being very, very careful and very, very mindful of where are those things in your and it could have been by the way, this could be from grandparents or great grandparents because it’s all pass forward. Where is it in, in, in your self esteem that you may have to be taking a look at generational trauma. Um Another trauma that we deal with frequently in life is the is betrayal, trauma. How many of us have been betrayed in some way, shape or form and it, it’s brutal when it happens to you. There’s, that’s a real thing. And so we have to be able to understand a lot of times we blame ourselves and we have to understand that these are things that have absolutely nothing to do with us as we’re working on ourselves and wanting to be a better person more than we are today.

We have to also understand that a lot of the things that we are working through are not ours. Thank you for the answer. Um In a previous one, you spoke about uh practicing gratitude uh for those who perhaps struggle with that or maybe get complacent about it. What would you recommend, you know, to, you know, with a lot of people, there’s a lot of journaling, there are gratitude journals, people can do that. I love, you know, picking up a journal and writing and getting things thoughts out of my head and on the paper and um and that’s a good way for me to monitor where I am at any given moment and then go back and read it in a month and find out, you know, where your progress has been. Um I think that the first thing that I do when I get out of the uh in, you know, bed in the morning is just, you know, I really do think and I am in gratitude for so many things and, you know, uh right now I’m in, you know, I, I live in gratitude for the roof over my head, the warm blanket and uh you know, lovely bed, the uh air conditioning that’s in my house as I’m in, you know, Phoenix Arizona. It’s 100 and 12 °F outside. I’m thankful for a full pantry. I’m thankful for my health, for my family.

Um You know, um my mom was in a bad car accident a year ago. I’m thankful that, you know, she’s passed that and she’s still with me because I could have lost her and we easily lost her in that accident. Um I had to shut down my business, for example, for seven months to take care of her because she, you know, that was where we were at the time. So there are many different things that we can be thankful for any given day, the air that we breathe, you know. Um and, and, and taking local grant, I don’t think you’d have to go very far today to turn on the news and to see how many other people in the world are living. Uh We’ve got an immi you know, immigration sys uh problem here. I think we’ve got one. Yeah, I hear a lot about the immigration system also in the UK because I listened to uh the BBC and other of your, the talk, for example, I listen to every day uh on my phone just to be able to get a worldview and perspective of what’s really going on. We’ve got fires everywhere. Look at what’s happening in Greece, look at what’s happening in Maui. Look at what’s happening right now in British Columbia, like everywhere you go, it seems that everything is a flame uh and people are hurting. So that’s number one is take a look at what everybody else is going through right now and maybe just be real thankful for what you’re going through.

The other thing we have to be really mindful about Thomas is our, our younger generations. And you know, we’ve got this do self esteem project is working on this all the time. We’ve got the CDC that’s coming out with horrific data about where our Children are right now as it pertains to their self esteem. Uh And we’ve got, we had our attorney general come out in April with, you know, an S OS alarm to mo to all social media platforms saying we got to do something about this because the bullying is over the charts and they are the our kids are being targeted, they’re being geo targeted through their phones, meaning uh if they, you know, take a look at on Amazon or I, I’m making this up as I go, I don’t exactly know how, how it works, but let’s say they look at Amazon on Amazon for the ipods, ok? Um Now they’re being geo targeted by ipod. Um So when they could be looking at many other things that are not good for them, right? And then they’re geo targeted on that. So the, the instance right now of either depression anxiety, ideation of suicide or actual suicide right now is about 50% in our kids that are middle school, high school and college age and I call them kids because I’m 64.

So they’re kids. To me, people are kids, they’re not kids when they’re in college. Well, they are, to me they’re young or young adults. And, um, and that’s scary. That, to me is scary. That is really why I do what I do. I don’t do what I do to say. Yeah. Yeah. Look good. Is not a thing. And you don’t need to be getting dressed up. I think that’s important too. But what really I’m trying to do is to reach out and get to as many people as I can through this message and through these podcasts and all media, um is, you know, really the importance of keeping our ear to the ground. Uh, you know, watching our younger Children, especially our younger, younger kids. I mean, if you go in and take a look at some of the things that the dove self esteem project is doing, they target 89 and 10 year olds, 11 12 year olds because, you know, you put these devices in the hands of these kids and they are, they have, they, uh yeah, you can do parental controls and all of that, but maybe their best friend, Susie Q next door’s parents haven’t done that and they’re all hanging around Suzie Q, you know, uh device. So the kids are getting the, the, the information one way or the other, they’re going to get the information and really, really being mind I say, and I look, I’m not a parent, I’ve never had Children.

I think I’ve been mother to many, but I have not and I’m a caretaker to the nth degree, but I, I have not birthed my own Children. I would say to all parents just be really, you know, keep your ear to the ground, be really, really mindful and can we at least get back to the dinner table? Can we at least get back? You know, how does it, how long are we truly at a dinner table? Half an hour tops. But if we come to that dinner table with a lovely meal that maybe we’ve all created, you know, uh uh created together in the kitchen. Maybe I, that’s a stretch. I don’t know. But what a lovely idea and sit down at that dinner table with no devices. Excuse me, all devices are left in bedrooms or they’re turned off and we really just, you know, how was your day now? I know kids go good. How, how was, how was school good? That’s where we need to, you know, we really need to be parenting in that way, you know, um self esteem is also about re parenting ourselves. But, you know, as parents and caregivers, um we must be spending more time with our Children and get them off these damn devices because they are on them far too much.

It is ruining their life. Social media is something that they should not be learning about life as much as they are from social media. 100% agree. And, um thank you for uh the answer and also for writing the book because I know it’s not easy to get through that process. So, congratulations. Um I know you’ve mentioned Barnes and Noble, but uh is there anywhere else where people can get it, Amazon all over the world? So I know that, you know, you’ve got Amazon there in the UK. Um I know it’s on Amazon there in the UK and it’s on Amazon pretty much everywhere in the world. And then here in the States we’ve got it in the Barnes and Noble stores on Amazon. It’s on Kindle as well and it’s on audible. So. Ok. And, um, uh, p if people wanna connect with you, where do they go? Clarissa Burt, I’m just Clarissa Burt on social, straight across, straight across everything, but Snapchat, not on Snapchat. Well, um, well, well done for everything. I think you’ve been a great guest today and, um, like I said, uh, loads of loads of things going on and, uh, all the charity stuff, well done there.

Um Have you got any closing thoughts for us today? Um One of the things I like to leave people with is this and, and when it, when it pertains to who you are, especially when it comes to, you know, being an honorable person, as a friend, as a husband, as a wife, as a daughter. And that is loyalty is when you have my back behind my back. And so case in case point in point comes to when you’re, you know, everybody is standing around the, the water cooler and they’re gossiping about Suzie Q. Uh, what a horrible person, Suzie Q is. Maybe if you were to walk up to that group of people and say, you know, I know Susie Q and I don’t think she’s that horrible. Maybe she’s just having a bad day today. I think what Susie Q needs is a hug and turn and walk away. Not only have you done the right thing by not fomenting, but you’ve also done the right thing by planting a seed. Loyalty is when I’ve got your back, behind your back. I like it. Larisa. Thank you for being a great guest today. Thank you so much, Thomas. I appreciate it.