Thomas Green here with ethical marketing service on the episode. Today we have Derick Johnson. Derek, welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Excited to be here. Gonna be a great conversation. Excited to have you. Would you like to take a moment and tell the audience a bit about yourself and what you do? Yeah, for sure. So my name is Derick Johnson. I’m a US army veteran. I was in the US army for 10 years. I grew up in Germany as a child. My mother is German and my dad, he was in the army. So we were stationed in Germany. So growing up with that culture, uh my dad is African American mother is German. So both are very gung ho and strict. So growing up with strict parents that taught me the discipline. So seeing them up at 4:05 a.m. working out that was second nature to me. So fitness was always my passion. And then the older I got, I realized that parents were both very successful in the career, but they didn’t take care of past traumas. So I necessarily became the verbal slash physical punching bag as a child and as a teen. But it helped me in regards to my career. So growing up with a parent that had alcoholism on both sides and a lot of wild stuff from the ages of like 11 to 18 that helped prime my career.
So like I was that kid that would love being at school because I didn’t like being at home. So anything that had to do with not being at home was my favorite thing to do. And so fitness was my outlet. And also at like 12 years old, I was listening to Tony Robbins tapes and all that because I was trying to figure out how to work with the stress that I was having. And then I pinpointed that training and then focusing on my mind afterwards, once I was calm was the cheat code. And then the older I got, I was able to teach those things to others, getting certified as a trainer and then potentially a life coach. And then in my decade in the army, I was in satellite communications and always led the soldiers in regards to fitness training and master training. So if a soldier was on deployment and came back and had a injury or maybe they had a divorce and gained some weight, I would train the. So fitness was always that passion in the army also in school. And then now in regards to coaching, I help people identify their patterns that are no longer serving them. And I help them thrive so they don’t just survive.
So that way they’re not in their career and pass things, spill, pass vices, whatever it was. So they can feel like they have control of their mind and feel like they have control of their body. But that’s a long story short there. No, thank you for the introduction. There’s a lot to ask you about and um I do sometimes think, you know, if you, if you get some Tony Robbins at a very early age, you know, that could be beneficial for you for the rest of your life. Um But I, I did want to ask about um how you decided to get into the army. Um And you, you mentioned uh alcoholism uh from parents at a particular age. Is that something that drove that at all? Yes, for sure. So, number one, my dad was in army and just seeing his discipline like they were both very successful in their careers is very disciplined. But on the outside, I was like, they just didn’t do the work from their childhood, their upbringing. So when it came to our house, we had a beautiful house in Florida. Um at the time we moved to Florida, but once the party and the cookout was done, that’s when like the quote unquote demons would take over and then the sun would be like the outlet and it had nothing to do with me.
But I realized that that was like the cheat code. So it made me, I wouldn’t say numb, but it made me mentally tough. I calloused my mind. So when I went into the army, I would just wanted to utilize the military to number one, not have college debt. Number two, get all of my certifications paid for. And I just had a long term vision that it was a stepping stone. So I never went into the army with the vision of 20 plus years of retiring. I just looked at it as here’s a way out for me to add to my resume, get all these certifications and degrees paid for, meet some great people, add it to the resume and then go from there. So that was always my vision and I was thinking about all this when I was like 16, but all the quote unquote trauma just eventually helped me grow up fast. So in hindsight, I appreciate it because it made me mentally tougher. It made me very strategic in life and just as a person, I’ve always been one to be very hyper aware in public. So like all that at home helped me with the military because when I had a drill sergeant in my face or six of them in my face, screaming and yelling, I almost laughed because I was like a crazy German mom.
And my father used to do that for like 12 years straight. So this is nothing. So like I would almost be laughing and I notice anybody else that did not stress in basic training or any military schools, they all came from crazy homes and they’re like, oh this is, this is a cake, cake walk for us. So it was really interesting to see. So the army wasn’t necessarily stressful to me. Um it was more so like after the fact of working with different personalities and people in regards to identifying who needs help with what? Because when you work with different personalities, different upbringings and all that, you have to change as a leader to speak to them differently. Not everyone needs that gung ho energy. Some people just need to have someone that will actively listen to them. So all that just played a part in regards to what I do now. So the experience in the US army also as an athlete in school just really cultivated, being a better leader and being able to communicate and actually help people on a deep level. Thank you for the answer. Um It does make me think because I have heard from multiple guests about the fact that early shall we say struggles have made them tougher in their adult life?
Um But there are obviously some examples where that hasn’t been the case. So they’ve really struggled with it and they carry it, you know, into their, in everything they do essentially. So why is it that you think that it’s made you better as a person versus perhaps making you. I know it’s been more difficult for you. Yeah. So that’s a great question. I think what normally happens is people let those limiting beliefs or the opinions of others control the trajectory of their life. So, it said family member said, teacher, whoever spoke to them a certain way, they normally start to agree with them and then they live a life according to what that person said to them. So, like if, if somebody’s 32 years old right now in their head, they might feel like that 13 year old where they don’t feel enough, they don’t feel enough at work. They don’t feel like they’re enough in their relationship because mother professor, whoever used to speak to them like that. So some people, they have those limiting beliefs which is placed on them by others. They’re not even like their own beliefs. But I think the barrier to break that is number one, your mental and physical health.
That’s why I always recommend people exercise in the morning. It doesn’t matter what training style it is, they could run, they could lift weights. But if they just get active for 20 to 30 minutes or longer, if they want to and to really earn that confidence and happiness of their day, then they’re more proactive. So if they’re stressed at work or in public, they’re not reactive to everything all day. They’re like, hey, I’ve been up since early. I already worked out. So when things do happen, I can make better decisions and I’m more proactive and not reactive. So I noticed a lot of people, they just constantly 24 73, 65 they live in a reactive state. Like they’re getting pulled everywhere. They’re distracted by their phone. They’re just like, they can’t focus and it’s really hard for them to get anywhere because they’re like very neurotic. But all that is, is a pattern. So that’s a big thing that I like to focus on is identifying what their pattern is and then either breaking it or changing it because a lot of them carry it. And then on the flip side, the people that do thrive in life that did come from crazy upbringings. I feel like we all just have that dark side that we’ve harnessed.
A lot of people don’t talk about this. But if you look at pro athletes, like, let’s say Michael Jordan, he had an alter ego, Kobe Bryant had an alter ego, Cristiano Ronaldo. He has an alter ego. If somebody watches sports or they don’t, they all have a dark side that they use to their advantage. So no matter what happened to them personally, they can tap into it to succeed in that thing. They’re not necessarily like an asshole to everybody but they know how to tap into it when needed. So they kind of talk to themselves. So I noticed that I did that a lot as a child where I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was like, all right, this other version of me, he’s not scared and this other version is scared and broken. But I need to listen to this guy more. But I noticed the more successful people you meet, a lot of them have done that most of their life. Like they have this alter ego that they talk to and they tap into that person for a set amount of time to get stuff done before they go back to their human side of being Thomas or being Derek to be a human again to be like letting the emotions out. But that’s the big thing I identified is that the people that do repeat what happened in the family, they don’t harness their own patterns or their own daily routines and the others, they just look at it all as fuel.
So they use that pain as fuel and it usually stems from a competitive standpoint. They’re either an athlete, they’re either in sales or that they just have so much heart to prove their family wrong. They’re like, if you guys, I’m gonna show you what’s gonna happen and they use that as fuel where the other people they essentially agree with what is happening to them as in like what’s said to them. Maybe I am this kind of person and the other person is like, no, I’m not living this, I’m gonna break this family curse and we’re gonna change that path. But those are the two main things that I noticed. It’s just a psychological state that somebody’s in when they went through those things. Great answer. I do have to ask though. Do you have an alter ego? Yes, I definitely do. Is it, is it a name like different name or? Yeah. So I have a, I have a few. So in the army people call me Rambo or Terminator because I would like work out all the time. I function on a little amount of sleep and it wasn’t like to prove anything. But since a child, I honestly would sleep 3 to 5 hours a night because from the hours of nine pm to midnight, there’d be complete chaos like 300 days a year in the house.
So by the time that they fell asleep or passed out drunk, then I would finally be able to breathe, have some quiet time, watch TV, or sleep. So like since a child it was that way. So that’s why the military was like really easy to me to sleep, minimal amounts because I was already doing it because the only time that I got alone and peaceful time is once they fell asleep because if they’re awake at night, it’s just nothing but screaming, yelling, etcetera. So that right there worked out. So that alter ego in the military was Terminator slash Rainbow where people like you’re like a robot where I could just be in that zone. But once I took the uniform off, I was Derek again and I could just show up authentically laugh play, do whatever. But that right there was like, harnessed into me as a child. And then the other side would just be like that deep alter ego in terms of an athletic standpoint where I can walk in the room and I’m nice, but I can see who the competition is. And then I just want to like, take everyone out, not physically, but I’m like, all right, I wanna learn this skill but I wanna be number one and I’m still nice and everything. But it’s just that competitiveness from sports.
So those are the two that I would have. One is like the complete dark side using the darkest fuel. So an example of that would be if somebody’s ever been on the last rep in the gym, pushing weight or running the last kilometer a mile on their run and they’re like, I don’t want to do another. Maybe they create wild scenarios in their head. Some people do it. Some people think it’s weird, but I do that a lot in terms of if I don’t wanna do something else, I create a scenario of if you don’t do this, this extreme dark scenario is gonna happen, then I’m like, OK, gotta get it done and it works in like a millisecond. So if some people can harness that if they have it cool. If they’ve never tried it, it might not be for them. But I have noticed a lot of high level people, they harness their darkest times and use that as their fuel and it just, like, drives them. What I take from that answer is that I’ve actually interviewed Rambo on my podcast. That’s awesome. Well, um, you, you said that you were, um, 16 and you already planned to go into the army. Um I kind of, I’ve got this sort of thought in my head, which is, um, if you make that decision, right, you’ve got perhaps some excitement and also some reservations.
Is that accurate or how did you feel at that time? Yeah, there’s definitely some fear, but it was a good kind of fear. So fear as in number one, no matter if somebody is served or not, they have a fear of will you get deployed? Will you be shot at like no matter what job somebody chooses? Everybody kind of has that thing because when you sign the line, you sign the line, so you’re gonna serve your country. So that is a minimal fear, but the other fear would just be the unknown. So being that age, it was the unknown. It wasn’t the fear of in training, being yelled at. I knew all that was by design. I treated life and I treated training like a game. They’re there to put stress on me to see how much I can handle, to make me better where I can elevate others while being stressed and still function. So I saw it all as a game. But the fear came from the unknown of where are we gonna be next month? Because being half German, you’re like basically designed to be O CD and having stuff organized and needing everything structured. So the unknown was my stress of where am I gonna be next month? Where will I live next year?
But then after the military, I noticed that that really benefited me because I don’t stress when stuff happens. So an example would be quarantine when quarantine happened, I was happy. I’m like, cool. I don’t gotta be around these people. Awesome. I’m gonna go all out on the internet. And so like I didn’t stress at all. I just saw it as a challenge where some people, they were probably the complete opposite. So it was interesting, same scenario, different reaction from people. But yeah, so at the age of 16, I made that decision because I just looked at all the benefits later on in life of what I wanted to do. So I always had this driving force to help others because I truly believe that when you can heal yourself, you can then help heal others. And I just would feel that in my core, whether it was God, whether it was faith, my conscience, whatever somebody would like to call it. I just felt that that was my driving force where I was like, I’m here for a purpose. That darkness happened for me to connect on a deeper level with people to help them with their issues. So it’s crazy to say that I was 16 during that time. But that’s just what I felt when you go through a lot of stuff, you grow up quick. Yeah, I’m getting that. Did you? Um because it sounds like to me like you’re just the type of person that would thrive in that environment when I speak to military people on the podcast, I often ask them what they learned what they picked up from the experience.
Well, do you think that you picked up less as a result of being that kind of person? No, what I picked up the most was the camaraderie. So when you are in a family setting that doesn’t say I love you and it’s not really like thrown around, like I would go to friends cookouts or as a kid spend the night at my friend’s house. And I was like, oh, this is how a family has dinner, you guys eat together, you say I love you. This is wild. So I wasn’t used to that. And so in the military, once you go through training and like you’re completely tired, mentally and physically drained and worn out and then you graduate and you go on to the next school and do all this, you become like a family, whether you like them or not personally, you know, he or she has your back if anything happens, like has your back more than family. That is definitely the thing that I would say most military will agree with is that camaraderie where it’s almost deeper than your blood family because, you know, you’ve been through the trenches together and have been through little battle together. So that will be the number one thing that I did get from. It was the camaraderie to get that deep connection with people because I did not have that deep connection with family.
So then I got it in the military setting and then brought it into business by being able to give clients or just friends a deeper connection where I’m like, hey, I’m here. I don’t care what time of day it is. I don’t sleep much and I mean, it, so give me a call and then they’re like, you’re still up, I’m like, yeah, I just, I just don’t sleep much. So it’s interesting how it all worked. But I feel like in everybody’s journey, if they can look back in hindsight, they can start to connect the dots of why they are the way they are. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad. Maybe it’s just how they want it to be. But it’s very interesting how when somebody pursues what their conscience, what God, whoever is guiding them to, then they’re truly fulfilled in the end. Because honestly, I know that if I was in any other field outside of helping others, in regards to coaching, I wouldn’t be fulfilled. I know that I could thrive in other industries. But deep down I would lay in bed and say, man, I just want to help people solve problems. Like I love getting those ticks. I’m down £30 or I just did a presentation and I didn’t stutter or I had my first date in five years or whatever the scenario is, those things make me the most happiest, the most proud because it’s all in different levels.
Thank you for that. Um There is something that I need to ask you about because I immediately saw it and I thought I need to know about that. Uh soldier of the year. There’s a story there for sure. Yeah. So in the US army, I don’t know how every other branch does it, but essentially you can go up to the board and it’s not required. It’s just on a per person basis if they want to. Some people don’t. But I love the competition. And again, I would walk in a room and I was like, I’m taking everyone out and that’s like my thought process. I’m the nice guy, but in my head, I’m taking everyone out. So long story short is when you go to the board, you essentially pound and knock on a door, you walk in. They let you know where to sit, there’s a chair and basically, there’s all the highest ranks at a table and they just drill you with questions. Basically, all it is, it’s like a verbal test. And then you also have a handwritten test. But the verbal test, that’s where the most stress is. And I loved those environments because I wasn’t intimidated by any of them and they could see that. But I would just laugh in my head. And I’m like, this is why this happened when I was a child. Because if it didn’t, I would probably be that timid kid that I probably was deep in my core before the madness happened because there was a shift before the age of 12, I was that very shy quiet kid.
But then from 12 to 18, that’s when all the wild stuff happened. And then, then I got more confident and literally started having less social anxiety or fear. But with that regard, you pound on the door, you walk in, you have all the highest ranks, they drill you with questions and then you also have written tests on papers, so written exams and you also have the physical portion. So there’s many variations uh the physical, the mental and then the social aspect where you speak to the highest ranks. And then from there, there’s X amount of other soldiers and then whoever scores the highest can win certain awards. So I went up to the board several times and that’s how I won those. And it was more so for myself not to have anything extra. Like you don’t get anything on your uniform. It’s just on paper and your battalion knows. But deep down, I just felt like I checked the box mentally and that’s always what I wanted to do is just go all out in whatever I’m doing because I don’t like living thinking back, man. I give 80% not 100. I wanna just go all out until I’m literally about to pass out. And then I say, hey, I gave him all, I didn’t win, but I had no ounce left in me.
Like I never, I never wanted to leave anything on the table. So that’s just the mentality that I always brought with me. Can you tell the um the details of how you found out as in like that one? Yeah. Yeah. So in, in regards to that, you go back up to the board and then they’ll call you out one by one and let them know who scored what? And for some, it’s embarrassing for some. It’s exciting. But that’s how you would find out in those settings in other settings. At other battalions, you would find out, come next Monday morning information and you would like have to just wonder what if for X amount of time, how many days you have the next formation and then they call out whoever it is. So it all depends and is dependent on that battalion and that company commander and how they do it. So for some, they could tell you via email, for some they could tell you right then for some, they would wait and say it in front of everyone and you come in front of the platoon or your battalion. But it all depends. But those are the three examples of how I found out in those three times was coming up front in the classroom where it was the others that were competing for this or it was just like via email and newsletter that they just didn’t give a shit.
They’re like, hey, oh yeah, Johnson got sold this year and they’re like, oh cool pat on the back. So well, I actually, I, I’m not sure I read it correctly. Is it three times? You won it? Yes, three times on my battalion. So basically in the US army, we have a phrase called uh high speed. So I was always considered high speed, which basically means you’re just always getting stuff done, taking care of your soldiers and just not complaining about anything. I always just try to show up as the example to not just be the fitness guy but talk to the guy that’s in the corner that’s quiet and like, hey, man, what’s really going on and actually caring. So outside of like the killer mode, definitely. And the communicator. So that always helped because I was in those shoes before where I didn’t have anybody to talk to. So, just being able to see that. And I learned that a lot from my mentors in the military as well that I saw. I’m like, how did he notice that? He noticed that there was a day that I wasn’t myself and I was like, oh, the more I learn about him he’s been through stuff, I’m like, wow, here’s a correlation. You can, you can get good at that skill.
You can learn it and train it but you have it deep in your core when you’ve been through stuff because you can identify it just, you know, it is just people’s eyes or the way your friend messages, you can instantly feel something is off and then you can help them with what’s needed. Well, congratulations on that. It’s very impressive. Um I appreciate your biggest challenges in the army. Biggest challenges would be personalities when you’re in the middle of nowhere and you haven’t showered in like a week or two and then you’re pissed off, you’re annoyed, you’re itching, you’re sink and like there’s a lot of stuff. Once people start talking about their personal beliefs, everybody’s half asleep and annoyed. Those are, the real tests is dealing with the different people. So it’s not so much, at least for me it’s not so much the training aspect or the potential to get deployed or all this other stuff happening. It is more so dealing with, I’ll just be blunt, dealing with the dickhead or the asshole that nobody likes that does not know how to communicate that to me was like the most challenging thing because some people, they don’t do the inner work so they’ll try to sabotage someone with paperwork.
So there’s like the guys that work admin, they would screw people over with pay with scholarships with whatever just if they didn’t like you. Oh, I forgot to send that paperwork off that you signed. And like they would do like this mental manipulation just because they just didn’t like somebody or they were intimidated by them. So those are the people that I would say and it was rare. There was only a few, but that’s what would stress me the most because I would show up on paper. Do, do what I’m supposed to do and I’m like, wait, so just because you don’t like me and I didn’t go have beers with you guys. I won’t do XYZ. So dealing with that kind of stuff. But that is honestly a big reason why I continued my career because I knew I wouldn’t do 20 years because my last couple of years it got very political where we went from the camaraderie to split up groups and they’re like, hey, are you pro Biden? Are you pro, are you pro this? Are you pro that? I’m just like I could care less about anyone. I have your back, you have my back. But everything has shifted. I feel like there’s 18 different subgroups here. Now. This is getting weird. I feel like I’m on edge and I don’t want one day to come where like I just snap on somebody. So I was like, hey, I think my, I think I hit that pinnacle where uh this is done because I’m turning into a, an angry person and it’s not who I am.
So I can definitely say the political aspect the last few years shifted because of what was happening in America. So that’s the reason that I got out. But I already saw that trajectory beforehand. So I was like, do your time get all the accolades that you can in it, get the schooling, get the certifications paid for, have zero college debt and then just continue with life. So it definitely helped me. But I would say that would be the biggest obstacle slash struggle is dealing with said personalities. Well, you probably got some good coping mechanisms then. So for other people, if they’re dealing with uh people who haven’t done inner work, people are making it difficult. What do you say to them in terms of how they cope with that? So number one, I would make sure that you’re having at least 20 minutes a day to yourself. An example that could be a workout that could be meditation. I would highly recommend just going on daily walks or spending time in nature. Like I like to keep things back to the basics. When was the last time that did this person dump their head into an ocean or the lake or wherever or went hiking or just went running on the beach or things of that nature?
So I like to combine exercise with nature and then having some calmness. So if somebody pushed their body to extreme exhaustion and then they sat down and really wrote their thoughts, prayed meditated or visualized, they would have a lot of clarity and it always happens after we have a lot of physical exhaustion because the mind is blank, the ego, self consciousness is gone and then we can kind of flow and do whatever we’re guided to do. So that would be number one to make sure that you do that on a daily basis and have some process. So my process is waking up early, run to the gym, hit the weights, come back and then I plan the day and ideas just flow to me where I just feel like I’m a vessel because I’m calm, don’t really have thoughts. And I just start like writing posts, sending messages doing that and people feel it. And I’m like, I don’t know where that came from, but I earned it because I did my part. So the ideas came. So I would say first taking care of the mental and physical. And besides that is something simple as killing somebody with kindness. It’s simple in the fact that it does work, but it’s very challenging to hold your tongue sometimes.
But gotta be the bigger man, bigger women in some scenarios, even if you wanna punch somebody in the face. But hey, don’t, don’t do that. But if you’ve ever won a scenario where you could see what kind of reaction they want you to give them, always have the upper hand because a lot of people, they set people up for you to get out of character. I want Thomas out of character. I want Derek out of character just so I can say, see that’s how they are or that’s how you are. Like, see, I knew he was gonna snap and a lot of them, they play a reverse psychology game and when you can sense that you can just play along with it and you can kill them with kindness like overliver and say, hey, how, how else can I help you and you catch them off guard? And they’re like, what I’m like, try to attack them mentally and you know it and they start to like, feel bad about themselves and then things start to get better opposed to just being angry all the time or letting them power over you. But if you can identify is this person in my career or in a relationship or in public trying to do reverse psychology or manipulate me to go with that approach.
Try to help them in any way that you can and see like, what can I help you with? What can I help you solve? What can I get off of your table? And they’re just like what just happened and you can always sense it in their body language that it just clicks. You’re like, wait a minute, I’m being, I’m being an asshole to this person, but they’re asking me for help. And then that’s how you usually control it. Kill them with kindness. Because the other way, it’s, it’s not gonna last. You can’t hold that anger all the time because somebody’s gonna boil to the point of no return and something bad can happen in that office space or whatever the setting is. So I would highly recommend first taking care of your body and your mind with the daily process. So you can be more proactive and calm. And then in that work setting, kill them with kindness and just overliver where they can’t say anything bad about you. Even if they don’t like you, they’re just like, hey, he was disciplined. He showed up, he got everything done. Like there’s nothing bad unless it’s like just personal beliefs. But over delivering it’s very hard at first. But the more that you do it, the more you let people get to you less, I really like that answer. And um I’ve heard it described as um if you react to it then you’re sort of letting the other person decide who you’re gonna be.
Whereas if you do what you said, you’re deciding how you’re gonna act. So, 100% with you on that one. So, um you mentioned the politics at the end of your career or your army career. Um How, how do the last, shall we say? Um, that, that last period of your army career, what does it look like? So what that looked like is this was during the time where it was all about in the headlines was Hillary Biden Trump and all that in Russia. This was during that time period and people really started showing their true colors and I’m all for freedom and personal beliefs, believe whatever you want as long as it doesn’t hurt others, whatever. Just my thought process. I get along with anyone. But I did notice that people started acting really weird example. One could be the ass kissers, excuse my language, but the ones that just like agreed with everyone just to agree. But you could tell that they didn’t believe that thing. They just kind of went along as sheep. That’s example. Number one. So I’m like, if I get deployed with him or her, they’re just gonna like tell the enemy where, where we’re at.
And I would run these scenarios in my head. I’m like, if you just let these people push you and you just say, yeah, yeah, I’m like, that’s not even your belief, like speak up, stand up for yourself. And then I would think about them like, I don’t wanna be on a team with these kind of people because they might turn on me if they can turn that easily and say yes to anything, what would they do in a real scenario? So that’s example, one example, two America is America. So racism still exists. I mean, it exists worldwide and I’m half black. So I did notice that during that time period, a lot of people show their true colors in that way. And I was like, well, no wonder uh there was always some weird energy between us and like, I could care less if somebody is or isn’t. But I noticed that because of what was happening in the media, it was making a lot of subgroups within the military. And you could ask a lot of people in different branches, a lot will agree because they noticed it where people would play a part, play a role and it went from the cora camaraderie, the team and the family to kind of a separation. And then it felt very corporate best way I can explain it in my last couple of years, it felt like a corporate setting.
And I was like, what, what just happened three years ago. This was awesome. Yes, we had our own level of stress, but at least I got along with everyone. But then the political climate because of the media, because of all the agendas pushed, that definitely shifted things in the military and then it got really lack like a days ago in regards to like who they accept into it and all that, there wasn’t a lot of tests done of people who should be in it and who shouldn’t have been able to get in. So it was a very interesting dynamic, but that will be the main thing is the agendas pushed by the media. People scared to speak up, people just saying yes to anything and then the people that just showed their true colors and like it just got really weird. So at least my experience, it’s interesting because um I don’t know, my outside perception is that um you know, it would be beyond that because of the camaraderie that you spoke of, but everyone’s human being, right? So yeah, it just happens. Yeah, for sure. So like a small group would still stay focused and stay a team, but then the majority just shifted and when the energy was shifted, it just got to a point where I was bringing work home and I’ve never been that type, but I would just like rant to my girlfriend about work and I was like, who am I becoming?
Am I literally turning into that guy’s gonna bitch about work all day like come on my phone, you won’t believe what happened. Like I never wanted to turn into that guy and I felt it, I was like, this is scary. That’s not my personality. That means I have to change my career paths. I hit my limit, let me finish this contract, shake hands and, uh continue. So that’s just my path on that. So, what’s the process for leaving, like a letter or meeting or something like that? Yeah. So it all depends on if you’re active duty, National Guard, there’s many variations. But the main thing is is that they want you to re up as in reenlist and just extend your contract because it’s all the numbers thing. So if you think about sales, they gotta to hit their quotas. So if you don’t wanna stay, if Johnson doesn’t want to stay, if Green doesn’t want to stay, then the quotas go down and they get less pay from the actual like company itself. So with that being said, when you say no, they kind of like throw you the finger, which honestly shocked me because a decade of serving your country on paper always showing up doing what I’m like, just really caring about everyone to then realize that.
Oh, this is real. They literally just, hey, thanks, thanks. But no, thanks. Oh, you don’t wanna continue? Cool. So after the fact, I had to learn a lot about the extra resources that you get outside the military from others that also experienced that or like getting connected with people on social media. They’re like Hey, you, you didn’t know about this program. Like nobody ever explained that to me like that exists. So a lot of these programs after the military, most of us find out from people that found out by themselves. So, and at least that’s for the army. I can speak for all branches. But that’s a common thread that I’ve noticed with a lot of my veteran friends or even like elderly, like my father and his friends, they all mention it as well. They’re like, yeah, afterwards they’re just like, hey, thanks. But no, thanks. But hey, but that’s why in America, the dark side of it, you see so many homeless veterans is because of that reason. Like they don’t give you the resources kind of like, hey, thanks, thanks for your X amount of years and almost sacrificing your life or you lost a few of your buddies. But onto the next one, just a number. But the good thing about it is the camaraderie aspect. You get connected with the guys that became family and we all have resources.
So then we combine and then that’s how we find out. So there’s always a positive side to it coming together again or doing your own research. But that’s definitely what I can say about the military. They’re like, just throw your finger when you’re done. Oh, you don’t want to continue. All right, good luck Green. You’ll be back, you’ll be back. You, you won’t, you won’t function as a civilian. And you’re just like, wow, this is what I get. So, yeah. Well, you just said you’ll be back. So, I mean, it pretty, have you ever considered going back or would you, are you out now? No, not at all. And, and not like, in an angry way, just know because I do what fulfills me and it’s just a better lifestyle, uh, from all mental health and just helping others on a deeper level. And I just always love business and I just saw it as a stepping stone. So I appreciate my experience in there. I learned a lot of examples of how to be as a leader. Definitely learned a lot about examples if I don’t want to be as a leader. But taking all that experience with me and if I compare myself to some of my friends, like, I’ve never paid a dime for college or certification. So that’s always been great. So dealing with that, I never thought of it.
And then you go back into the real world, you realize how much college debt people have and you’re just like, you owe what? Oh my God. Like it, it’s insane. So like on paper, they have all these degrees and phd S and all this. And I’m like, but you only make X amount and then in business, I’m like, I’m glad we went business because it’s, it’s scary out there. But yeah, so I definitely would never go back. But I do appreciate every scenario, everything that happened because it all just harnessed who I am. And uh is it a feeling of relief when you leave for me? Yeah, it was not so much like, hey, I’m away from the negative but it was more relief of I don’t have any negative interruptions to pursue my passion. Like I don’t have to just up and leave if I’m in a zone. Like, hey, tomorrow, you gotta go here for two months and you gotta go do this, just planning my own path, creating my own schedule. So it’s more so excitement for my passion and my mission rather than just like, oh, I’m so glad I’m done with this because some people are so glad they’re done with it. But then they’re like, ok, what’s next? And that’s like the scary part for some people. They, they make that their identity.
It’s the equivalent of a pro athlete if they get injured or they retire. A lot of them go into a dark space because they’re like, what else is there outside of boxing or basketball? Like, I’ve never really thought of it and that’s a scary moment to have if they never thought about what’s after or if there’s something that correlates to that same field, they’re like, hey, I could be a newscaster for sports and continue, but I challenge people to look at what would you do after that career? Is it gonna align with that. Are you gonna use those skills to help build something else that continues with it? Well, you did say what’s next? So what’s the first day or two look like when you’ve returned? So the first day or two was literally just go all out in business for me. At least I was just excited and I was like, I have nothing pulling me back. I got nobody text me that I need to be here or there. I’m free. So let me go all out. So honestly, I just did my own daily process and just went all out in business where I was like, I don’t have interruptions. So just went in and just built the coaching business along with the marketing business. But you knew immediately what you wanted to do. Yes, I was that guy that was in the field teaching myself Google ads and youtube ads in the middle of the woods, like using up all my data on my phone because we were done training.
So I would just sit there and just learn and they’d be like, what are you doing? I’m like, I’m, I’m learning how to do this. I’m gonna do that. And I just saw the vision and I was like online training app, get people on here run through this phone, run through that. My brain was just flowing and I would do that at odd hours of the day when we were done training So it was good. So I looked at as I’m getting paid to be in the army, getting free certifications and schooling and I have this free time when I’m not working to learn about my real passion oppose alike, working a regular job and then trying to get off and study and do all that. So I looked at it from a positive standpoint. I was, I was like, this is gonna help me, This is gonna help me. I know right now, I’m annoyed, but this is all temporary. All of this is temporary. Well, the interesting thing is, uh you’ve got the coaching, shall we say? I mean, it’s not a business then, but it’s a business now, presumably. Right? Yes. So I was a personal trainer since the age of 15 and six, no, six years ago, I took it all online and then from there, I also took online, the life coaching and the reason I went deeper into the coaching space is because I would feel that I let the clients down if they lost the progress that they made.
So if I would train Michelle and I’d see her like a year later and I’m like, no, you gained it all back or you did this or you went backwards. I wasn’t angry at them. I was angry at myself because I was like, I didn’t give her or him the tools mentally that they needed. I taught them fitness, nutrition, daily routine. And discipline, but we didn’t make the psychological shift. So that’s what was the aha moment to become a certified life coach and go from there and to be able to help people on a deeper level. So nowadays, clients less likely go backwards. Um, because we made that mental shift. So that’s why like one of my headlines is I will teach you how to take control of your mind and your body because it all correlates because some people are in great shape, but they binge drink at home or do blow on the weekends and it’s like, all right, kind of isn’t even out there. So being able to teach people how to break those vices or those bad habits so they can function in every area rather than just like, be a great salesman. But then they’re, they’re terrible at home or vice versa. It’s like we want to be well harnessed in all areas. Well, the reason for the, uh, for the question was around, um, you knew immediately what you wanted to do, but I would imagine that’s a minority position.
Um, whereas most people, if they end one career, they’re like, what the hell do I do next? And so for people in that position, you’d obviously be a good person to speak to. Um, what would you say to someone who was, you know, I, I have no idea what to do. Now, that’s a great question. So I would get a sheet of paper and I would write down four questions. Number one is what am I naturally good at? What am I naturally good at? Number two would be, what do people know me for? What do people know me for? So what am I naturally good at? What do people know me for? Number three, what are some things that drive me? What are some things that drive me and the number four would be, how can the above three connect? How can the above three connect? And if somebody can push pride and ego aside and do that for about 30 minutes, just literally write out the answers to those things. They can do the bullet points or like, hey, I’m good at talking to people or I’m good at just being an active listener. People always come to me with their problems like whatever it is for somebody and then they keep going through it.
They can start to have some clarity to then connect and say, hey, a company like this aligns with these things nice or hey, I can make a product or a service that aligns with these things, but at least they would have some sense of clarity rather than just like opening up their resume and saying, all right, where do I start? And then looking at jobs dot com or whatever and like, OK, what do I do? I would highly recommend doing that exercise with those four questions. So they can see what relates to their passion and their natural skills because most people, they’ll get some clarity on a few things and a few paths that they could pursue. And then from there, they can narrow it down. But at least they went from this. Oh my God. Two. Wow, this is interesting. This could be good. And then they, within an hour can feel much better and at ease and then they can do the research on career paths, but they feel way more laser focused rather than just looking at a whole blank slate and saying, all right, what, what the hell am I gonna do? Great answer. Thank you. Um Just, um sort of finalizing, shall we say what we’ve talked about?
Uh previously your story, I know there’s more to it than what we talked about. But um, I appreciate uh everything that you said, I think for the benefit of others you had, I think um what I would describe as a complex relationship with your parents. Um How do you feel about them now? And what would you recommend people do who also have that, uh that history? Perfect. Great question. So number one is I feel great about it now because it made me who I am and it helped me personally mentally. And also I give a lot of love to my clients, my girlfriend, dog, just strangers in public. I just feel like because the love was not at home I now give it to others. So I remember 12 or 13, it was the first time I heard Tony Robbins say the quote. If my mother gave me the love that I wanted, I wouldn’t be the man I am today. If my mother gave me the love I wanted, I wouldn’t be the man I am today. And that quote, I was like 12 or 13 when I heard that and I was like, whoa, that’s gonna be me when I’m older. And I don’t know, I just got mature quick.
So it stood out to me and your next question I would say, excuse me, could you repeat that last question if someone also has that complex relationship with their parents uh or they feel negatively towards it? What do you recommend? They do? So something that worked for me, I’m not gonna say everybody should do this. But the best thing that I ever did in regards to that was outside of moving out at 17 or 18 was I changed my phone number. So honestly, none of my family has my phone number. They can reach me via email, they can reach me on social media. But the reason for that is when my phone used to light up, it would be a drunk text message or a voicemail of just like ranting and it would throw off my energy because it would happen at odd hours. And I was like, this is a gateway would I look at my screen? I need a control. So that was one of the best things because I had no interruption. So if they sent it on social media, I could turn notifications off. It’s fine, but I’m not getting those calls. So if somebody would like to try that out, that would be powerful because sometimes you just have to put a barrier between whatever’s happening.
It might not be family, it might be friends, whoever, but sometimes just like breaking that contact for a bit going from there to truly focus on yourself. And that was the whole intent was for me to not have any past interrupting thoughts so I can fully harness my skills and give people more positive energy and give them better results. So that’s example, one that I would test out, either you might wanna change your phone number, uh give them less, less access to you. That’s basically the point being who can you give less access to that drains you? Are they adding fuel to your fire in a positive way or are they just draining you because they’re using you abusing you whatever, make that decision because you’re gonna feel much better. Yes, it’s hard. But you’ll thank yourself because when you have less wasted energy and waste with less wasted bandwidth, you can focus on your passion or whatever you’re doing. So I’ll look at it from that perspective. Thank you for sharing that. It is uh something that I’ve heard in relation to um controlling your environment. So, um you know, if you, if you’ve got in, in the context I’m talking about, if you’ve got like a bad habit or something, you need to remove whatever that trigger is to make sure that you don’t do it again and you’ve sort of done it in a, in a slightly different way.
So, thank you for that. Yeah, I appreciate it. We’ve done previous um what have you got going on at the moment? So right now I focus mainly on coaching my clients one on one. So the majority of my day, I have them in my training app. We have the workouts and nutrition are all in there. And then we hop on Zoom calls and have strategy sessions where essentially we just dive deep into mindset. So the magic quote unquote happens on our calls and in the workouts, everything is tracked, analytics and all that is in the app. And then we just stay excited on social media and just have a great camaraderie community. So seeing them winning. So that’s number one outside of that in regards to business for marketing, I mainly just help clients get more sales and get more leads. I just run their ads and go from there. But it’s interesting how it works. Some marketing clients turn into fitness and coaching some fitness and coaching are like, hey, I just got a business so everything connects but at its core is just when you can fully solve people’s problems and they can sense you’re passionate about helping them doors open for you, doors open for them and nobody ever feels sold like there’s no, nothing is transactional.
It’s all relational. And that’s my favorite part about it. I show up transparent. I tell people I drop the F bomb a lot sometimes, but at least you know what you’re gonna get. So there’s no, there’s no veil, there’s no character online. So people appreciate that if that’s what they like and then others, they need more of a different style. So I always tell people, I’m not for everyone. Thomas isn’t everyone but Suzie is not everyone. But when you meet the right people that you do relate to, it makes things much easier and what’s next for you. So what’s next is to continue to scale and to build in person seminars. So basically workshops, we’re not gonna be walking on fire or walking on lava and all that. But what we will be doing, it’ll be a military style. So what I see me and some of my veteran buddies and some other guys in the men’s group that I have is we want to have the first morning we go on a hike, go up a mountain, have some vigorous mental and physical exercises and then we have breakthrough sessions. When we go back to the nice hotel, we’re all in suits. So basically getting the best of both worlds. Um, let’s just say a gentleman is very shy.
He’s never been in a fight. He’s never shot a weapon. We’ll teach him how to do that, protect himself, protect his family. We’ll teach him the physical aspect. Then when it comes to mental, we’ll do all that inside of a banquet room. Have some food and all that very comfortable setting. We’ll dive deeper into the mind and then at night we’ll either sit by the water, sit by the fire and have some good brotherly camaraderie. Um, so that’s definitely what I see there. So we have some big things planned for that. But the intent is a 3 to 5 day getaway where they can release some trauma, learn some new skills and realize that they can step up and be a better man because maybe they feel they’re slacking in one area. That sounds like a very cool environment to be in. I appreciate it. Yeah, I’m excited about it. Just give men a new experience, especially ones that have never been in a military setting or athletic setting. Some men, they just need that camaraderie or they just push themselves to new limits where they’re at the top of a mountain just yelling after they hike for an hour and they’re just like, I don’t know what just happened, but I just released like 10 years of trauma and then you just see it in their body language and he’s like, man, I didn’t realize all I need to do is come up here with a group of guys just freaking yell, shoot some guns.
Come back down, meditate. Pray. Call my wife, tell her I love her the next week. Get the biggest sale of my life. Like everything correlates and connects because we’ve all seen it with our own clients. So that’s all we’re trying to do is just make them a better man or my female clients, make them a better woman, make them a better leader. So we show up better for others. Well, I think you’re very inspirational. It’s almost like you’ve been listening to Tony Robbins or something. Um And I really appreciate you coming on and telling your story. Have you um have you got any closing thoughts that you’d like to share? Uh closing thoughts would definitely just be I challenge everybody to say this in their head or out loud is people depend on me. People depend on me. So any time that you don’t feel like getting out of bed doing that thing, we’re being selfish, all of us are naturally selfish. We don’t want to do something, but just tell yourself that phrase. People depend on me whether it’s the kids, the neighbor, future family, clients, customers, whoever, once you can think of others, you’ll tap into another side of yourself and just work harder and stop thinking about your own situation or your own emotions. So repeatedly telling yourself people depend on me will tap you into a different zone.
And last but not least would just be to become the man or the woman that you would be proud of, become the man or the woman that you would be proud of a great final thought, Derek. I appreciate you being a legend and uh thanks for being a great podcast guest today. I appreciate it. Thomas great conversation.